Day 10 →? Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know
I feel like most of my answers have been somewhat guarded for multiple reasons. First off, I'm worried about hurting someones feelings. I don't want to or like to call people out, especially on the internet, so I kind of beat around the bush and answer the question by pointing the finger back at myself. I think sometimes this approach is okay, because typically we should be looking at ourselves first before we put the blame on anyone else. However, there are some questions that I want to be honest about (even if it's a bit brutal).... I just have this huge fear of hurting someone. Even if that person despises me already, I can't bear the thought of hurting them back.
Truth be told though, for the most part I do feel like I've lost the "toxic" people in my life. Life is too short to be around people that only make you feel like crap about yourself.
*the rest of this has been deleted due to personal reasons*
Showing posts with label 30 days of truths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30 days of truths. Show all posts
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
day 9 of 30 days of truth
Day 09 →? Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted
Actually, there have been a lot of friends that I didn't want to let go, but due to life changes like moving or whatnot I lost contact with them. It sucks because they are still on my mind and I miss having them in my life. Sometimes I feel like a weirdo for trying to reconnect with them (I mean, just cause I still think about them, doesn't mean they still think about me, plus what exactly do I say???) or sometimes i don't know how to get in contact with them again....no, not everyone has facebook (ha!)
Actually, there have been a lot of friends that I didn't want to let go, but due to life changes like moving or whatnot I lost contact with them. It sucks because they are still on my mind and I miss having them in my life. Sometimes I feel like a weirdo for trying to reconnect with them (I mean, just cause I still think about them, doesn't mean they still think about me, plus what exactly do I say???) or sometimes i don't know how to get in contact with them again....no, not everyone has facebook (ha!)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
day 8 of 30 days of truth
Day 08 →? Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
Okay, today's prompt makes me nervous. I hate admitting out loud that there has been anyone that has treated me this way, mostly because I feel like I am giving them too much power if I do. Truth be told though, we all have had people like this in our lives, people that treat us like doormats or as if we don't matter. I've tried to cut these people out (although if you know me, you know I despise cutting anyone out). It's tough, but it needs to be done. With that said, there have been friends, boyfriends, and even family members that have made my life more difficult than it should have been. There have also been those that have made me feel less valued or loved and had a part in significantly lowering my self-esteem (or so I thought). Truth is, I allowed them to. I gave them the power to make me feel less than I am. I guess if I'm going to say that, I must then admit that it was only me that made my life hell..... Talk about a light bulb going off!
Okay, today's prompt makes me nervous. I hate admitting out loud that there has been anyone that has treated me this way, mostly because I feel like I am giving them too much power if I do. Truth be told though, we all have had people like this in our lives, people that treat us like doormats or as if we don't matter. I've tried to cut these people out (although if you know me, you know I despise cutting anyone out). It's tough, but it needs to be done. With that said, there have been friends, boyfriends, and even family members that have made my life more difficult than it should have been. There have also been those that have made me feel less valued or loved and had a part in significantly lowering my self-esteem (or so I thought). Truth is, I allowed them to. I gave them the power to make me feel less than I am. I guess if I'm going to say that, I must then admit that it was only me that made my life hell..... Talk about a light bulb going off!
Monday, July 12, 2010
day 7 of 30 days of truth
Day 07 →? Someone who has made your life worth living for
There are tons of wonderful people in my life that have truly made my life better and even worth living for, but the person that has done this the most is my mom. For a long time it was just me and her. The rest of my family and I were going through no talking phases and my dad had at this point passed away. She became kind of my life line. Now-a-days she is still the person I am closest to in this world and also on of the few people I can be honest with. She sees me for who I am, faults and all, but still loves me with a crazy amount of love. She calls me out on my crap, but she also is there for me when I need her. She has gone out of her way for me my whole life because she wanted to, because she loved me. It is because of this AMAZING woman that I even know what love is. There have been days (especially in middle and high school) where I didn't want to wake up or keep going. I was tired with how life was and I just didn't want to do it, but thinking about my mom and how much she means to me and how much she loved me kept me going. I'm in an amazing place in life right now and I have her to thank for that. She is truly one of my best friends. :)
There are tons of wonderful people in my life that have truly made my life better and even worth living for, but the person that has done this the most is my mom. For a long time it was just me and her. The rest of my family and I were going through no talking phases and my dad had at this point passed away. She became kind of my life line. Now-a-days she is still the person I am closest to in this world and also on of the few people I can be honest with. She sees me for who I am, faults and all, but still loves me with a crazy amount of love. She calls me out on my crap, but she also is there for me when I need her. She has gone out of her way for me my whole life because she wanted to, because she loved me. It is because of this AMAZING woman that I even know what love is. There have been days (especially in middle and high school) where I didn't want to wake up or keep going. I was tired with how life was and I just didn't want to do it, but thinking about my mom and how much she means to me and how much she loved me kept me going. I'm in an amazing place in life right now and I have her to thank for that. She is truly one of my best friends. :)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
day 6 of 30 days of truth
Day 06 →? Something you hope you never have to do
This one took me awhile, I gotta admit. I guess I tend to think more about things I want to do than things I don't. Of course, there are things that I hope never happen to me, but to pick something that I hope I never have to do....that made it more difficult for me....but here goes....
I hope that I never have to go to the bathroom anywhere but a restroom EVER again!
Okay, here's some back story..... my senior year in high school my youth group (only seniors) and I went to Montana for a week. One of the best trips I've ever had. For a couple days we had to hike up this mountain and then camped in the valley. It was pretty sweet, but the guys with that materials to make our own bathroom/latrine area were a couple hours behind us, so of course it only figures that I had to pee the moment we got there. I tried really hard to hold it until I thought I would explode and finally had to go in the woods....which by the way is where the rest of my youth group was playing man hunt. There was honestly NO where else to go. Some of you might think I'm a pansy for this, but honestly I am just REALLY private when it comes to stuff like that. And this was one of the more painfully embarrassing moments of my life...
-kel
This one took me awhile, I gotta admit. I guess I tend to think more about things I want to do than things I don't. Of course, there are things that I hope never happen to me, but to pick something that I hope I never have to do....that made it more difficult for me....but here goes....
I hope that I never have to go to the bathroom anywhere but a restroom EVER again!
Okay, here's some back story..... my senior year in high school my youth group (only seniors) and I went to Montana for a week. One of the best trips I've ever had. For a couple days we had to hike up this mountain and then camped in the valley. It was pretty sweet, but the guys with that materials to make our own bathroom/latrine area were a couple hours behind us, so of course it only figures that I had to pee the moment we got there. I tried really hard to hold it until I thought I would explode and finally had to go in the woods....which by the way is where the rest of my youth group was playing man hunt. There was honestly NO where else to go. Some of you might think I'm a pansy for this, but honestly I am just REALLY private when it comes to stuff like that. And this was one of the more painfully embarrassing moments of my life...
-kel
Saturday, July 10, 2010
day 5 of 30 days of truth
Day 05 →? Something you hope to do in your life.
I actually have TONS of things I want to do in my life. I have made a goals list to do before I'm 24, a bucket list to do before I die and I'm constantly adding to them. I feel like there is so much awesomeness out there and I want to see and do as much of it as possible.
But, I guess if I had to pick one thing..... that I get to teach and that I love it. Honestly it's the thing I've dreamed about the longest (18 years) and I can't wait for it to be achieved.
I actually have TONS of things I want to do in my life. I have made a goals list to do before I'm 24, a bucket list to do before I die and I'm constantly adding to them. I feel like there is so much awesomeness out there and I want to see and do as much of it as possible.
But, I guess if I had to pick one thing..... that I get to teach and that I love it. Honestly it's the thing I've dreamed about the longest (18 years) and I can't wait for it to be achieved.
Friday, July 9, 2010
day 4 of 30 days of truth
Day 04 →? Something you have to forgive someone for
I'm pretty bad about holding grudges. However, since it's something i am aware, i am trying to work on it. There is one person that I need to forgive. It's been an ongoing process for a couple years now (I'm sad to admit) but for some reason i just have never fully let it go. I think because she was once my best friend is why it stung so badly, and also why I just couldn't let go. But it really is time to forgive and move on.... What happened is in the past. Now I'm just looking towards that forgiveness that erases all the pain. :)
I'm pretty bad about holding grudges. However, since it's something i am aware, i am trying to work on it. There is one person that I need to forgive. It's been an ongoing process for a couple years now (I'm sad to admit) but for some reason i just have never fully let it go. I think because she was once my best friend is why it stung so badly, and also why I just couldn't let go. But it really is time to forgive and move on.... What happened is in the past. Now I'm just looking towards that forgiveness that erases all the pain. :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
day 3 of 30 days of truth
Day 03 →? Something you have to forgive yourself for.
I constantly am beating myself up over things... It's as if I think I should've known the future and anticipated it, but I didn't so my mess up is unforgiveable. Like, I totally should have seen the my niece was going to spill that drink and ugh, why didn't I think ahead and bring an extra??? Then there's also the unwillingness to let stupid mistakes go..... ok I messed up and forgot to remind my boss about such and such phone call. It's a silly mistake, I should be able to let it go and move on, not beat myself up about how much of a mess up I can be. There's also my favorite....yea that whole Katrina thing....somehow that's totally my fault. Don't ask how or why, because I won't be able to answer that, but somehow my suckiness has lead to a national disaster. (Ok, the last is a bit of an extreme.....ha!)
The point is, I blame myself for a lot. And I also don't tend to go easy on myself, so when I mess up I drive myself crazy over it for way too long. It's kinda sad.
So something I have to forgive myself for is all those stupid mistakes that in the end don't matter. Life happens, we all screw up and it's not the end of the world.
I constantly am beating myself up over things... It's as if I think I should've known the future and anticipated it, but I didn't so my mess up is unforgiveable. Like, I totally should have seen the my niece was going to spill that drink and ugh, why didn't I think ahead and bring an extra??? Then there's also the unwillingness to let stupid mistakes go..... ok I messed up and forgot to remind my boss about such and such phone call. It's a silly mistake, I should be able to let it go and move on, not beat myself up about how much of a mess up I can be. There's also my favorite....yea that whole Katrina thing....somehow that's totally my fault. Don't ask how or why, because I won't be able to answer that, but somehow my suckiness has lead to a national disaster. (Ok, the last is a bit of an extreme.....ha!)
The point is, I blame myself for a lot. And I also don't tend to go easy on myself, so when I mess up I drive myself crazy over it for way too long. It's kinda sad.
So something I have to forgive myself for is all those stupid mistakes that in the end don't matter. Life happens, we all screw up and it's not the end of the world.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
day 2 of 30 days of truth
Day 02 →? Something you love about yourself.
It's strange how yesterday's prompt made me feel so different from todays. I'm totally one of those girls that feels like if I compliment myself or admit I have good qualities then I must be conceited. Which of course is totally silly, we all have to have at least one good quality!!!! I think this will be one of the main things I try to work on this year- trying to realize that I can love myself and be able to name my good attributes and not come off as conceited.
So now that I've prolonged the prompt, I'd have to say that one thing I do love about myself is my willingness to help others. In the past (and sometimes present) this has caused me to get walked on. We all know that feeling and how much it sucks, but as I've grown up I've just tried to make sure I'm putting the effort into the right people. By that, I mean I want to help everyone, but I will only go out of my way for people that I don't think will take advantage. As long as I feel secure on that, I will seriously do anything someone needs me to (within reason and my limits of course).
don't forget to come back to check out the other 28 prompts!!!
-kel
It's strange how yesterday's prompt made me feel so different from todays. I'm totally one of those girls that feels like if I compliment myself or admit I have good qualities then I must be conceited. Which of course is totally silly, we all have to have at least one good quality!!!! I think this will be one of the main things I try to work on this year- trying to realize that I can love myself and be able to name my good attributes and not come off as conceited.
So now that I've prolonged the prompt, I'd have to say that one thing I do love about myself is my willingness to help others. In the past (and sometimes present) this has caused me to get walked on. We all know that feeling and how much it sucks, but as I've grown up I've just tried to make sure I'm putting the effort into the right people. By that, I mean I want to help everyone, but I will only go out of my way for people that I don't think will take advantage. As long as I feel secure on that, I will seriously do anything someone needs me to (within reason and my limits of course).
don't forget to come back to check out the other 28 prompts!!!
-kel
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
day 1 of 30 days of truth
30 days of truth feature. (more info found here)
Day 01 →? Something you hate about yourself.
I of course have more than just one thing I hate about myself, but the one that bugs me the most is my anger. I know I'm a lot like my family members in regards to how I act when I'm angry and when I see them acting out I think "seriously????". But then I do the same freaking thing and I hate it. Sometimes I blame it on being Irish and a taurus....but truth be told I just let myself get away with it.
Too many times I've gotten angry over useless stupid things and it takes me awhile to calm down. I hate that. I wish that I could just be more go with the flow and when I got mad that I could snap out of it more quickly. I'm honestly trying to work on it though. That's gotta count for something! :)
-k
Day 01 →? Something you hate about yourself.
I of course have more than just one thing I hate about myself, but the one that bugs me the most is my anger. I know I'm a lot like my family members in regards to how I act when I'm angry and when I see them acting out I think "seriously????". But then I do the same freaking thing and I hate it. Sometimes I blame it on being Irish and a taurus....but truth be told I just let myself get away with it.
Too many times I've gotten angry over useless stupid things and it takes me awhile to calm down. I hate that. I wish that I could just be more go with the flow and when I got mad that I could snap out of it more quickly. I'm honestly trying to work on it though. That's gotta count for something! :)
-k
30 days of truths
I came across an awesome blog feature that I just have to take part in!!! It's called 30 days of truths (you can find out more about it here).
It's pretty sweet, just answer one a day on your blog for 30 days. I'm a little bit nervous in being this open on such a public forum, but what the hey, it's an awesome feature to take part in.
Here are the topics:
Day 01 →? Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 →? Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 →? Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 →? Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 →? Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 →? Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 →? Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 →? Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 →? Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 →? Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 →? Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 →? Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 →? A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 →? A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 →? Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 →? Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 →? A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 →? Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 →? What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 →? Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 →? (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 →? Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 →? Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 →? Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 →? The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 →? Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 →? What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 →? What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 →? Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 →? A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
You can also check out my friend Alycia's truths too. :)
And if you decided to follow along too, let us know so we can follow together!!
I'll be back with my day 1!
-kel
It's pretty sweet, just answer one a day on your blog for 30 days. I'm a little bit nervous in being this open on such a public forum, but what the hey, it's an awesome feature to take part in.
Here are the topics:
Day 01 →? Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 →? Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 →? Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 →? Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 →? Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 →? Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 →? Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 →? Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 →? Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 →? Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 →? Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 →? Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 →? A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 →? A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 →? Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 →? Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 →? A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 →? Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 →? What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 →? Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 →? (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 →? Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 →? Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 →? Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 →? The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 →? Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 →? What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 →? What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 →? Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 →? A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
You can also check out my friend Alycia's truths too. :)
And if you decided to follow along too, let us know so we can follow together!!
I'll be back with my day 1!
-kel
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