moats and boats and waterfalls

This week has felt so off to me. Perhaps it's because the end of the school before the holidays is near (as in 2 days). Or maybe it's because I'm not ready for Christmas to be here yet. Or maybe because just like my students, I take time to adjust to new and different schedules. Or maybe it's that there has been so much going on lately. Or maybe I'm just weird.

Last week we cat and dog sat, I helped put up 2 Christmas trees (and both works), I tried to get Christmas cards together, I read tons of Eat Pray Love (which is amazing, by the way), and I tried not to get bogged down by the negative stuff going on. Not to say life hasn't been good, it has, but I feel that I am one of those people that always lets the bad overrun the good. I hate that. And I don't know if it took Steven saying something or me reading Eat Pray Love, or if it was just an inner thing, but I finally realized that I can and need to change that aspect of myself.

Let me just write a side note here to say how strange it feels to be sharing this on such a public forum (especially since I try really hard to keep my blog a "positive thinking" place). However, in a way I feel like if I own up to it, I will finally be forced to change this habit. I'll be given accountability. And maybe this time next year when I'm looking back at old blog posts I'll be able to point and laugh at my old self who was more of a pessimist.

So that's life in a nutshell (and in instagram photos, haha).

-kellie

ps...if you have instagram, you can find me here: kelzify

my kitten for a day

This is Jane.....as in Jane Doe or Jane Austen. She also has gone by (in the past 2 days) midnight, scratchy, bowser, night star, licks-a-l0t, baby jane, janie, cuddles, cuddlecakes.....(you can tell my nieces had some help in the name department).

Yesterday I went over to my sister's for dinner and her neighbor had found this adorable 4 week old kitten with no mom and no collar (so no home). They couldn't keep it, my sister couldn't keep it, so I was the only one left. If you know anything about me, you know that I typically despise cats. There have only been a few that I somewhat even like, but this one was different. She was so tiny and just so sweet and cuddlely that I had to take her in. It was me or the pound. So my sister and I bought her kitty litter and other such kitty things and we all thought of cute names.
Sadly, I only got to keep her for one day. It honestly broke my heart to have to give her up and say goodbye. I can't get into the why I had to let her go, but it was so difficult to do. I almost want to hit myself for getting so attached after such a short amount of time..... I think it was just nice having a pet around again to care for and cuddle with. Especially since I've just been feeling so emotional and lonely as of late....you know those awful feelings you can't shake and you're not entirely sure why you even have them.....
But here is Jane...the only photos I have of her. I just hope she can find a good home.


In other news this week has been an extremely off one. I can't really get into detail without writing a 20 page blog and I also want to shy away from the sad rants (eh.....minus the one above I guess).....but I just haven't been feeling myself. I've been overly emotional (stress I'm sure) and I feel like I've just been hit with one damn thing after another and at the end of the week I am tired, stressed, and feeling completely insignificant. I'll bounce back I know, but it just sucks that even the good things (because there are always good things) have been overshadowed....
I wanted so badly to tell everyone I ran into yesterday about my awesome review from my directing teacher and supervising professor on my internship performance. It was an amazing review and I honestly wanted to cry I was so happy about all the sweet things they said an complemented me with. Instead, I wasn't able to tell the 2 people I wanted to share with the most..... and now who knows when I'll get to tell them.... damn this feeling. Damn the bad overshadowing the good right now. Damn this overwhelming feeling of ....... sadness and damn not having 2 of the closest people in my life by my side right now.

Okay...rant over.
Although this does make me think of one of my favorite verses.... "When life is good, enjoy it and when life is hard, consider this....God made both and no one knows what tomorrow will bring." Ecclesiastes 7:14

-kellie