Friday, December 26, 2008

i'm dreaming of a warm Christmas

...just like the ones I use to know.
I guess when you live in Florida, the only kind of Christmas you'll ever have is warm one...

This Christmas was so completely different from any kind I've ever had before. And it was wonderful. One of the best I've had in a while actually. And for once, I didn't miss my dad so much I ended up crying myself to sleep. It's only taken 7 years, but I finally am healing... :)

Christmas eve my parents and I went to service a church in Riverside that some of our co-workers go to. The message was bland. The music was very traditional. And the people, somewhat friendly. The church though was beautiful. In fact, I think it's one of the prettiest churches I've ever been in.

Christmas day I had church service, just me and a bunch of homeless (with a few other CRM volunteers) under a dirty tent in downtown Jax. Just me, no friends or family. And it was an amazing Christmas service. I loved every minute of it and I felt at ease and peace. I think now I finally understand Jesus and his love for spending time with the less fortunate rather than the rich. If I had to choose which service was my favorite, which people were the friendliest, which place of worship was the most beautiful, hands down it would be the latter. Nothing was so beautiful as to see so many people, all of different types and ages coming down to sit together and worship The Savior in a less than traditional church.
God really blessed me this Christmas and opened my eyes to so many things. I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas too. God bless.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

almost thereeeee

I wish that I could finish just one project. Right now I am in the middle of so many; redecorating my room, making Christmas cards, finishing up my 2008 photo journal book, my scrapbooking (that hasn’t been updated since last May), and a project I so badly wanted to put together for my mom for Christmas. (see pictures):

Oh, and I am also on the hunt for a Christmas party cocktail dress for Friday.

I figured that once classes were over for the semester I’d have so much more free time on my hands, but I guess I was wrong.

Last night was our firm Christmas party/dinner. It’s funny how working with people for over 2 years makes you into some kind of little family. As we all stood around the table, holding hands about to say grace, I realized how much I have overlooked. I keep myself so busy I haven’t taken the time to notice the small things that make life so meaningful and beautiful. White sparkling lights on the Christmas tree. Starbucks hot chai tea with vanilla lattes. The smell of cinnamon. Music, from Peggy Lee to Jason Miraz to Ben Folds. Finding new favorite music. Christmas classics like White Christmas. Friends, new and old. Driving with the windows down and the sunroof open while listening to Mae. Dinner with wonderful friends revisiting wonderful memories and adventures.

Monday, December 1, 2008

giving thanks

So Thanksgiving has come and gone. And I have to say, while I usually don't look forward to the holidays, this one was INCREDIBLE!!! Pensacola for the entire weekend. I did sadly have hw to do, but as long as I was with P-cola people, I didn't care. We had amazing food, great company and a white elephant Christmas gift swap. I think that's the name of it, and I won a fondue kit!
So here is what I am thankful for this season:
Yum cookies from World Market. (my dinner wed. night)

Sunsets. Pretty, pretty sunsets.

A camera to play around with when I was bored in the car.

These gals.
These guys.

And all the other wonderful people in my life.
I am so blessed that I have two places to call home. (Pensacola and S. FLA).
Home is not a dwelling with 4 walls, it is where you feel loved, where you can be yourself, where you have a group of people (or even just one) that love you for who you are. No questions asked. No ifs, ands or buts. They love you, even though you have faults and they accept you.
Perhaps thats why I haven't really been able to make JAX my home. I don't feel that I can be myself and be loved for who I am, with mess ups and all. Luckily I was able to bring people with me from S.FLA, but when they are gone for the holidays, I fear I will be lonely again. :(
But here is to now. To knowing I am blessed. To having loved ones in my life, whether they be in the next room, or a few hundred miles away....