romance IS for everyone

Nobody Knows Me Lyrics
By: Lyle Lovett

I like cream in my coffee
And I like to sleep late on Sunday
And nobody knows me like my baby
And I like eggs over easy
With flour tortillas
And nobody knows me like my baby
And nobody holds me
And nobody knows me
Nobody knows me like my baby
But it was a dream made to order South of the border
And nobody knows me like my baby
And she cried man how could you do it
And I swore that there weren't nothing to it
But nobody knows me like my baby
And nobody holds me
And nobody knows me
Nobody knows me like my baby
And I like cream in my coffee
And I hate to be alone on Sunday
And nobody knows me like my baby



I looked up romantic in the dictionary..... it said "imaginative but impractical. Not sensible about practical matters, idealistic and unrealistic."
Maybe the dictionary is right, ok it IS right. But the thing is, who cares? Girls like to be romanced. We like to be swept off of our feet and made to feel like princesses (not all the time, but occasionally). You can blame it on watching too many chick flicks but personally I just think guys should watch more (how else will yall learn how to be more romantic?)

the future

There are so many questions running through my mind.
I have made so many goals for myself for this year and I fear there are not enough.
I am wondering what I am doing. What am I suppose to be doing with my life? And why have I not figured it out yet?
I worry I am not strong enough.
I fear that I let people down too much and karma is coming back to kick my ass.

Mostly, I fear the unknown and the future. I am scared to death that I will be a lonely miserable old woman who no one found worthy enough to have as a wife. That no one will love me enough or see me in that way. And even worse, I'm scared that when/if that happens I won't be ok with being single. Single for awhile is ok. I have been good with that. But single for life? When all I have wanted is to be a wife and a mother (in the distant future of course).

o ye of little faith

There is a story in the Bible which I am sure most of us are all familiar with. It's about Jesus walking on water.....

"When His followers saw Him walking on the water, they were afraid. They said 'It's a ghost!' and cried out in fear. But Jesus quickly spoke to them, 'Have courage, it is I. Do not be afraid.' Peter said, 'Lord if it is really you, then command me to come to you on the water.' Jesus said 'Come.' And Peter left the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when Peter saw the wind and the waves he became afraid and began to sink. He shouted 'Lord save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught Peter. Jesus said 'Your faith is small, why did you doubt?' After they got into the boat, the wind became calm.
---Matthew 14:26-32

What gets to me the most about this passage, is really 2 things. The first is that Peter sank because he doubted not what Jesus could do, but rather what he himself could do. The second thing is that IMMEDIATELY Jesus saved him. Peter asked for help, and Jesus saved him.
I doubt myself. I cannot think of any good qualities that I posses and what's worse is that I use to be able to. I use to know what I was good at. I use to work hard for what I wanted. I use to be happy-- not all the time, but more so than now.
What the hell am I doing with my life? I feel as if I am simply wading through trying to figure it all out and I have distanced myself from God, not because I doubt that He will be or can be there for me, but instead because I doubt myself. I doubt my abilities and myself in general.
I am not sure if I like who I am or who I am becoming-- and I feel that I am in need of a change- a drastic change.
I am hoping to have an important conversation tomorrow with some people that can help me in making this decision. I know that it will work out the way God wants, but I am hoping that what I feel I currently need for my life is in line with what He will allow to happen. I just need change. I need to be happy for more than a day. I want to not depend on a living soul to be there -- I want to depend on only myself and God. I'm just not quite sure how to go about this yet. But I plan on finding out- I have to.



Amazing grace!
How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The world shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun refuse to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.
When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise Than when we'd first begun.

the death of me

"Be My Escape" by Relient K

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.


I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair


Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.


I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave


Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.


I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You

Sunday blues

Tomorrow starts up Spring semester. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I HATE the beginning of school-- the not knowing where your class is, or who's in it, or even what the classes will be like. But part of me is welcoming the change of pace. I hate just working.
So here's to another semester, let's hope this one is a better one!