dreams

All week I've been having nightmares. I'm not entirely sure why (although it hasn't been the best week either...) But last night's dream was one of the worst. I've had kinds like it before. They typically go like this: something traumatic in my life happens, my Dad contacts me (or I find him), I freak out because all this time I've thought he was dead, he convinces me he is not dead, he's just been MIA and he's back now and life is good.
That's when I wake up. And I have to realize I was just dreaming and my dad is not living in a foreign country or hippie town in California. He didn't just wander off and suddenly appear 7 years later. I have to yet again live through the worst and most heartbreaking day of my entire life as I come to the realization, yet again, that my dad is in fact dead.
Maybe to some this sounds stupid or makes no sense, but it's one of the worst kinds of dreams I've ever had. It's not fun having to relive the saddest day of your life over again because a stupid dream was able to successfully convince you that one of the people you loved the most is really gone forever.

So, suffice to say my day didn't start out all that wonderfully.....
(here's to hoping it gets better!)