my down time

 

 I seriously want to laugh while reading the title I posted. Because the response to it is.. "What down time?" 

I've tried to give myself some of course, or I'd go crazy, but life is still so hectic lately. Which is how I'd prefer it yes. And it's not that I'm complaining. I'm not. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and it's a little hard for me to keep my grounding. 

I was warned though. Everyone says that your first year of teaching you just have to hold on and try to survive. It's like a rollercoaster they say. It's all about surviving they say. 

It's easy to get frustrated though. I know that I won't be the best teacher in the world this year. I do promise to be the best teacher I can be this year though. It's just that all the planning and meetings, assemblies, and testings make it a bit more difficult. 

I don't want to come out of this year merely surviving, I want to come out thriving. 

I'm kind of wondering if veteran teachers are reading this laughing at me right now. I get that I have a lofty goal. There is so much to take in the first year. Hell, I'm only in week 3 and I'm aware of this. 

And part of me wants to slap all those people that think teaching is merely babysitting and such a easy thing to do. While it's gratifying, it's definitely not easy. You have 20 or so students all with different attitudes and different needs, that all need attention and support (but in different ways). Some have help at home, a lot don't. Some have learning disabilities. Some have been held back. Some have no respect for others. And yet, I'm trying to reach every single one of them and help them to be a better student and person. 

It's an overwhelming goal. But it's why I wanted to teach to begin with. I may not reach every kid, but my goal is to try. 

Sometimes though, I wonder if my first year goal should be more like "Don't cry in front of the kids". 

This is such a random tangent about so much. And while normally I might not post it, instead clicking "draft" and going back to look at it later, pointing out all the mistakes I made and sentences that didn't make sense, I won't this time. I don't want to edit myself on this. I want to look back at the end of the school year and remember how I felt and what I said (whether it made sense or not). 

And veteran teachers, I would absolutely love and appreciate any advice you might have (on anything!!!). So please feel free. And parents- you too. I feel like yall are teachers in the home and often times have such amazing advise (and management skills!!!).

 

Oh yes- and pardon the post about teaching and then a picture of beer. BUT I did say this post was about "down time". And the little time I have gotten (while not being sick) I did enjoy with a cook out and single beer. Sometimes it's just what's needed at the end of the day. (Don't judge).

-kel