I am a jerk. A complete and utter jerk.
I have tried to apologize, but let's be honest here....just because you say you're sorry doesn't mean the pain goes away and it doesn't make it all better. The damage has been done and there is nothing left to do, but feel as if you are the worst person/friend in the world. And that is how I feel.
The word sorry means nothing, for it can't change the past.
What's been done has been done and because of that I have let down one of the people I love most in this world. I wish I could go back in time and change things. Change me even. But I can't. The worst is knowing that I have been forgiven by the person I have hurt; yet I can't manage to forgive myself. How could I? I took away something that brought feelings of happiness, love and self-worth.
A million times over I am sorry. And you are a bigger and better person for loving me despite how I have acted and what I have done. I love you more than you know for that.