Monday, September 20, 2010

day 20 of 30 days of me

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future:

I know this is suppose to be a "romantic" kind of post.... but I decided to kind of put a different spin on it as well......
I honestly hope and pray that in the future, I will still know everyone in my life right now. Friends, church members (especially my youth group), family members, my awesome roommate, co-workers, and yes, especially my amazing boyfriend.

Okay, I admit it.... I have been a little afraid of this post (which could explain it's delayed appearance). To explain, it's not the answer that scares me, but the idea of being so open about something so personal that has freaked me out. However, I feel like I did agree to do this feature in it's completion, so I think that also involves being completely honest and open (something I am sometimes not too good with). So the truth. Someone I could see myself being with in the future (and no it's not Jim Sturgess or Prince Harry, although......nevermind.) For the first time in a long time, I feel like I actually do want to get married one day and it's not because I want to try on wedding dresses or have someone to come home to, it's because I'm with a guy that is amazing, that makes me smile even when we're fighting, that texts me in the morning just to say hi, and who goes out of his way for me constantly to make sure I know he loves me. I tried really hard to convince myself that I didn't want to get married or have a family, when in reality I did- I just was so afraid of it not happening that I tried to believe I just didn't want it. I do want it though, one day (not anytime soon, don't worry). I am that girl that use to dream about her wedding when she was little and thought of how much she one day wanted to be a wife. And I still do want it, but I want it because of the guy, this awesome guy. It's not the idea of a marriage I'm in love with anymore, but the idea of being with this guy in the future that I am in love with.



Courtney said...

Just remember kitten that getting married does not define who you are! You can absolutely be with someone you love and still not want to get married. It doesn't make you any less of an amazing women- I promise.

...on the brink of something beautiful said...

thanks court. :)
i hope it didnt come off like i was saying being married defines a person...i in NO way believe that. i just meant that when i was younger i wanted those things and now that im older and with this guy, i want them again and not for the reasoning of it makes you "whole" or "defines you" but because i just want to spend my future with this awesome guy in my life.
and not all the time will people want to get married to the person they love, i know marriage isnt meant for all, but in knowing who i am, i know that i want that kind of lifestyle (ONE DAY, lol).

amylou said...

That was me before I got married. I told everyone I didn't want to even though I did, simply because I didn't think it would happen.
That is exactly the way it should be want the guy and not just the marriage!
You sound so happy! Enjoy it and take it slow. It's worth the wait! =)

vida said...

hi, i love your blog. So can I display your blog address on my blog??

this is my blog :

thx before :)

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal take on the subject of marriage. It sounds like you are off the wall happy in your life and your guy is a huge extension of that happiness. Congrats on the good life, Kel :)

...on the brink of something beautiful said...

thanks elizabeth! :)