52 lists in 52 weeks// week 8 (guest post)

List Makers UNITE!

Hi- my name is Kate!

I am a Chicago girl living in Los Angeles and I write a blog called Katydid Did It. My husband and I moved out here a year and a half ago because we are both actors without major commitments, and it felt like a good idea at the time. Being a Midwesterner in "The Epicenter of Crazy" can be a challenge, which is what drew me to Kellie's 52 Lists, 52 Weeks. It's a fun activity that makes me think about ways to remain grounded.

This week's list theme comes from the second list I made called "List of Lists I Want to Make." Obviously I hadn't read the directions of the activity all the way through to realize that the themes were being set for us, but Kellie didn't seem to mind because she contacted me and asked me to guest blog, which I am thrilled to do!

The title of this week's theme is "Ways to Be a Great Companion." One of the lists I wanted to make was "Ways to be a better wife/friend/neighbor/sister/etc" and when I sat down to make that list, I realized the word "better" made me feel less than. It implied that I am not already a good wife/friend/neighbor/sister/etc, and that is just not true. Sure, I can do lots of things to be better, but it seemed too negative. So, I changed it and then lumped wife/friend/neighbor/sister/etc into one word: Companion. Is this too much explanation? Yes, probably, but I really did give this a lot of thought and wanted to share it with you.

Anyway, here is my list:

1. Tell Companion Why I Like Them. It's good to remind ourselves why we like our partners and friends, and telling them only serves to make them feel good. Just make sure you mean it.

2. Hug Hello; Hug Good-Bye (6 Second Hugs). A while back I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin for a book club I am in. In it, the author experiments with improving her marriage and one tactic she uses is to hug for at least six seconds. Research shows that in that time chemicals are released in our bodies to promote bonding. Plus, it's a great way to start and end an interaction. Caution: not everyone likes being hugged. This can be adjusted to handshakes and arm squeezes as necessary.

3. Give gifts for no reason. I am an aspiring vegan and I really love the work Isa Chandra is doing over at Post Punk Kitchen, so naturally, I follow her on Twitter. She recently tweeted this: "It's so important to know who your real friends are. And to give them presents for no reason." And I agree! It is my personal opinion that homemade gifts are the best, but really, any gift is nice, don't you think? My dear friends Clayton and Angela Renee came into town and brought some beautiful clay tiles to us from San Antionio, and I was so touched!

4. Resist Giving Unsolicited Advice. My little sister can tell you that I have to work on this one. I can't help it with her- she's my baby sister and I have made so many mistakes that she can learn from! But it's annoying and only promotes distance and mistrust.

5. Call more; text less. Could also be "Call more; Facebook less."

6. Don't Interrupt. Similar to giving unsolicited advice, I think interrupting someone says, "What I have to say is better than what you are saying" and that doesn't make for good conversation. Of course there is a flow to a conversation and sometimes it's totally appropriate to interject, but consider whether your interjection moves the conversation along, or whether it changes the direction.

7. Hold Hands. Making a positive physical connection is always nice, in my humble opinion.

8. Listen without thinking about what I want to say or hear (Endgame). When I was in college studying acting, I took a Movement class and the teacher would always say, "Don't Endgame!" which means "Don't start doing something with the ending already decided- stay open." I have also caught myself listening to a friend tell a story and half way through I think of something I want to tell her, and miss the rest of the story because I was thinking about MY own story. No good.

9. Have "Free Fun." Here are some examples: take a hike, go to the Farmer's Market and eat free samples, make out, have a game night. There's something about NOT spending any money, but still having a great time that makes me feel closer to my buds.

10. Try new things together. I recently took some friends to a place I LOVE, and spent so much time talking it up and convincing them that they were going to LOVE it too, but they did not, and it was disappointing for all of us. When we went out to try a new restaurant that none of us had been to, we were all on a level playing field and had much more fun and more to talk about.

I am really looking forward to reading your lists and throwing your ideas to my bag of tricks! Thanks so much for reading and have a lovely day!

***Thanks again Kate for making this list!! I love it! And can't wait to make mine!!! And don't forget to add your lists to our flickr group!!!

xoxo Kel***