Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A-Z// i is for....

I is for...indecision.

I'm one of the worst at making decisions. And since my friends, mom, and boyfriend are all there with me on this- it's always difficult picking anything.... place to eat, what to do....etc.
But I am probably the worst one.

I'm not entirely sure why making choices is so difficult for me, but somehow I always end up over thinking things so badly, I end up with no decision. I've done this with buying cars, buying dogs, to even buying clothes or what food to order. It's such a silly thing too. Part of me even yells at myself to just freaking pick something!! But there always are the "what-if's" and "am I really sures"?  (And yes, I even think this while ordering food.)

I was also indecisive about writing this blog post. Should I put this word as my "i"? Could I come up with another subject for this word? What about "ice cream"?  I mean, I love ice cream! But could I really write a whole post on it? (Actually, I probably could). But I want this series to be more serious and about who I am, because one day I'm going to look back on this and think "wow, that's how I was back then" or "yup, still the same". 

So if I had to describe myself in so many words, indecisive would be one of them. I don't think its that I'm incapable of making choices- I do and I can. It's just that I'm worried about making the wrong one, usually because I'm afraid of upsetting someone. This sounds super silly I'm sure- but I honestly do try to please others. I don't exactly love this trait about myself, which is why I honestly am trying to curb it a little bit. However, in some ways I'm thankful for having this characteristic, because at least I know I'm not making rash decisions. I have to take days to make some choices- which is good and bad I guess.

xoxo
love,
kel

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